DEAR VALENTINE

I decided to write this article as a sort of a dedication to past loves but also as a reflection of past experiences on Valentines Day. As we all get older it is easier to see things from a different perspective. I thought it would be fun to discuss some of the Valentines Days that I shared with different boys/men throughout my life. Not many of them got it quite right, but there are a few that will forever remain in my heart and I have fond memories of them even now.

I remember as a teenager how hard my young boyfriends tried at the time. Both of my young loves in high school were brilliant. My first love was the best though and one of the reasons I can say that is because he made other days special besides Valentines Day. He was so loving that he never just waited for that one day a year to make me feel special and loved. Every day was like Valentines Day with him even without the chocolates. It could be a flower from the garden or an old silver ring of his from his boy scout days...or just lots of kisses all day long....it just didn't matter. We were young and in love and he always got me in little ways. My other love who I eventually got really serious with for many years was fantastic at the actual day! He was great at the flowers and chocolates and also picked good Italian restaurants. He always made the day special and I have fond memories of the those times. But looking back I always wished that other days felt special too and it was never about money. I would have been happy with a lovely picnic on the beach or just hanging out and kissing all day! Or maybe just a handwritten note in the mail or a book of poetry. I never needed anything "fancy" when it came to love. All I ever wanted on Valentines Day and every other day was to be spoiled with LOVE! Is that too much to ask?!!!

Anyway, when I think of other "not so great" Valentines Days I think of certain people in my life who made the holiday seem like a chore. Like they were angry cause they had to perform on a certain day. A "Hallmark holiday" they have called it or they don't call it anything and do "nothing" for their partner. And this is what I say to that. EVERY holiday has now become a Hallmark Holiday because corporations need to make money! That is a given but it does not mean you have to rebel and decide to "not do anything without complaining!" I usually think of these sort of men as "male divas." I know quite a few of these sort of men who rebel against chocolates and flowers! I know their poor mates too. I have been there..believe me! Oh my god! Save us from Flowers and chocolates and a whole lotta love!!!!!!! ha I mean you may get the Valentines Cooties!!!!!! Please! Shall I say more?!!!!! They all need to take a "love pill!!!"

As I have matured I have sort of learned more about love through my experiences. Infact I actually know what it is now. Maybe it is because I am older now and can recognize and appreciate LOVE now. Or maybe, just maybe it is also because of that "special someone" who has my heart doing flips. One thing I do know is this.... When you are truly "in love" the holidays mean nothing more then a little extra frosting on the cupcake. But you still do something that makes your partner happy because you love them. It could mean cooking a fantastic meal and reading a poem at the table. The importance of proving to someone that you love them sort of drifts into the background and there is no need to stress about the little things on one or two days of the year! LOVE should be a daily occurrence and a couple therapist once told me and my partner at the time that a "love gift" is something that you give in your own special way to the person you love on a daily basis. A "love gift" to one person can be doing extra chores around the house to make it easier for your partner with a hard day job. A "love gift" from someone else may be extra kisses throughout the day or special texts or phone calls. Communication and trust is "key." This is better then any holiday.

So maybe on Valentines Day this year, you should think about going beyond the chocolates and the flowers? I mean we aren't getting any younger, are we? And if you are still young and in love then it would be nice to do something special on other days too. Remember, there are so many ways to show a person you LOVE them!!!!!!

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Hub Pages Author - GPAGE

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